Can anybody on Earth tell frankly that he/she can live without problems of a day? I doubt that there will be a positive answer. Humans face problems every day, every hour. The amount of stress one gets depends on the attitude towards the problem. There can be minor and major problems, the definition depends on the attitude and the situation. Some problems can be solved without even being identified. Major problems can cause the life of a person turn upside down. Every problem can drive a person to a state of depression and this is a state when the solution is enormously difficult to find. Instead of getting depressed, just start seeking alternative solutions to your major problems. We usually seek for an answer even if the question is a poser. Same thing repeats with problems. There is a couple of old techniques that need to be looked over. Dividing the sheet of paper into 'plus' and 'minus' columns makes every aspect of the problem be clearly seen for the subject. This is also a step forward in to self --- acknowledgement. This method leads you to a conclusion that needs no further analyses and no discussions for there is nothing categorically positive or categorically negative. Every single thing that belongs to your personality is a never breaking part of your 'ego' and it shows your needs and ambitions. There is another way of solving the problem: by writing advantages and disadvantages of the situation on two separate pieces of paper, one after another. The first should be a list of disadvantages and then, half an hour later, advantages. Do not drop out any important details or leave behind interesting facts. You have to be as concrete and as considerate as it is possible in order to reach your goal. Having experienced such a method people say that they were so mistaken about the situation they got into. But the second method may be used only by a person who can show objective criticism of oneself and analyze every step and every deed without superstitions. Usage of these methods leads you to developing a so called "strategy" that needs expedition of the creation of a proper model of behavior. This behavior should be correlated to your inner world and your habits make you look natural and happy. After choosing a few you should alter your behavior according to the situation. You may appear to act as if you are a different person and the satire of it should ease you the overcoming process. If an image of a looser is firmly stuck to your personality, why not change the situation and bring in some clarity into the particular sphere of life if not in life in general. You must be ready to foresee any situation before you imply any mode of behavior you have chosen before. What if any try of yours may turn out to be a failure? In this case you should look at this all more ironically than seriously. Your state of confusion or even fear proves that you are incapable to change yourself and to develop a style that will show you as a person that is in control of his/her life. Try to be frank with yourself and act naturally in every situation to your own satisfaction and the admiration of others. |
